la decadanse: Don't Want No Short...

Don't Want No Short...
19 January 2006

♫ Yelle - Short Dick Cuizi
♫ Yelle - Short Dick Cuizi (Tepr Remix)
Someone in the Eurocrunk group on Last.fm sent me a recommendation to check out Tepr. Instead I managed to find this track performed by Yelle, produced by Grand Marnier and remixed by Tepr. Methinks this is a record insulting Cuizinier of TTC. You know, just a hunch.

My ineptitude when it comes to the French language totally precedes me. I took two semesters of it in college to fulfill a silly graduation requirement. Out of all the random languages I know on a basic level, this is the one I should know the best. Unfortunately, that doesn't say much about my translation capabilities. So let's just assume this is a Parisian cheerleader anthem slamming Cuizinier's alleged shortcomings. Well, at least it sounds like it should be accompanied by some Toni Basil choreography, pom poms and a U-G-L-Y chant.

You'd think because I was pushed directly up front at TTC's US debut at the Knitting Factory last year I'd get the best "perspective", but instead I got a faceful of Teki's voluptuous rear during an onstage breakdown to their track "Girlfriend". I guess the world will never know unless Cuizinier, as suggested by Yelle, stars in a pornographic film. With fried potatoes. I don't know. Je suis une Américaine très stupide?

Gallop' sent in his 15-minute translation:

"Cuizinier with your little sex surrounded with red hairs
I can't believe you can believe someone may want you
I don't believe it even in the dark, even if you keep your pyjamas
Even if you keep your dressing gown in a shape of kitsch tee
Keep your shirt this will limit damages bastaaaard

I want to see you
In a pornographic movie
In action with your dick
Shape potatoes or french fries
To know everything
About your anatomy
About your cousin Teki [Tekilatex, from TTC]
And your fetish accessories

Cuizi what's
Your favorite position
Your olympic performance
But you have nothing orgasmic [Orgasmic is a DJ from TTC]
You are naked
Under your apron
Ready to draw
But I must say that this is no use

You're dreaming of a fluo Hummer
Designed by Akroe
But you don't have a driving licence
You always take the metro

Superstar for one night your life becomes normal again after that
No need of sunglasses to hide yourself nobody recognize you
Your green card awaits you, man [?! "carte verte" may not be the US greencard]
This is not just talks
I managed to make you
One with my scanner
Entrance is free tonight
This is the only way we come
So girls hanging around?
Yeah we go to chippendales
We did not wanted to spend the night with funny guys ["rigolos", hard to translate; very pejorative and despising]
We wanted to see muscles, guys with bull-size dicks ["des mecs montés comme des taureaux"]

Your Lil'Jon posters cover those of Magic Johnson
Your body's too crunk to manage dunks

Cuizinier it's you that I want to see
That I want to see tonight
Being ridiculed by a girl that raps better than you
I don't have enough of my 10 fingers to count them in the hall
All those girls hair-dressed like me that know what you're worth when naked."

Posted by La Decadanse @ 01:27 | |

15 Comments:

At 11:37 AM EST, hector23 said...: Hey, I like your site and your tunes. I threw you a link on my blog roll just for laughs. Keep it up
At 4:14 PM EST, melissa robot said...: i can't get enough of short dick cuizi.

haha, that sounds a little bad actually.

poor cuizi cuiz.
At 9:48 PM EST, Why Alex, Why? said...: can't believe i had to go an AMERICAN blog to finally find that stupid track ... merci mary-ann.

by the way IT IS an insult to Cuizinier of TTC... I don't quite understand what was her motive behind (because it's really nasty)... but Teki said she is the girlfriend of their ex-webmaster for Institubes (TTC's label)... if that means anything.

My feeling is that she just didn't like the very mysoginistic "Mix-Tape" of Cuizinier. ... too bad for her... a second one is on the way.

Still, her track rocks. BTW, did you notice that she uses Gillett's "Short Dick Man" bassline...
At 9:53 PM EST, Mary Ann said...: hey you! i don't know if ttc/cuizinier could do any worse in terms of lyrical misogyny than a group like 2 live crew but maybe that's an overreaching comparison.

hadn't a clue about the bass line.

thanks for the info.
At 2:00 AM EST, Why Alex, Why? said...: they perform very well at being mysogynist. you'd like to think it's a 2nd degree thing ... but i am starting to think not.
At 12:19 PM EST, Gallop' said...: I could make a little translation for you if you want.
Indeed, she mocks him, but a friend of mine from CTU confirmed the intel. Copy that? :)
At 12:25 PM EST, Mary Ann said...: you're quite the omnipresent one, aren't you?

i'd love a translation. i'll post it on here and give you credit, if you'd like.
At 9:15 AM EDT, alex said...: im frenc/british and the lyrics are very harsh your tanslation is pretty correct, i dj and was going to play this then thought against it altho its a great tune is thsi the 1st tune shes made? cheers
At 9:40 PM EDT, Sammie said...: what does TTC stand for?
At 9:44 PM EDT, Samantha said...: can anyone get the lyrics for Tu es beau?!?! i love that one!!!
At 3:01 AM EDT, Mary Ann said...: ttc = tido/teki/cuizinier
At 9:37 PM EDT, Sam said...: o0o0o ok, thanx
At 11:24 AM EST, Marcelo Daniel said...: I really like Cuizinier (has anyone heard him rapping over the Knife's "Heartbeats"?), mais Yelle est définitivement la meilleur!

I was thinking of translating "Short Dick Cuizi" (aka "Je veux te voir") to English, but I'm glad someone did it already. Merci!
At 9:52 AM EST, Amapola said...: i just love the song, its soooo fun!
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